no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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