At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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