never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
