He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
