I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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