Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
