Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
