ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I had to cum in my sink.
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