I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
