I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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