I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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