C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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