arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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