At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He better not be in your backpack
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
