I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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