i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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