I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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