He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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