Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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