i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
