Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the day after is always just damage control
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What a dumb baby whore.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
