Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
