dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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