yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
