Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
