I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
