Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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