I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize