didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
