I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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