Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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