my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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