oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
