I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
now i know why i became what i already was.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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