I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
