OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
