I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
