Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The power of my boobs compel you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
