happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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