i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
