Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
