Kiss
Puke
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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