I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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