The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
