i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
