i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize