After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
