Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
