dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
