so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
