we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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