Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
