apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
