Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
