I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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