break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
