Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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