duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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