TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
