walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Four minutes until I can fart!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
