I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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