ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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