You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
