I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize