you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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