I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
